Kira and I first laid eyes on one another in the bar. Later she laid some other things on me.
For some women, a wedding ring is a sign to keep out. Other women prefer it. Married men come with no strings attached. There are times when a woman just wants to keep it simple. She needs to get her junk waxed off just like most men do. That of course is correct with one exception. There is one footnote that women forget to present men when the whole screwing process begins.
Sleep with a woman once or twice, no big deal, no strings attached, they will forget your name the next day as if they were a guy. However, the game changes if you visit more than let’s say six or seven times. Then they get attached. Make a woman come and she will remember your zip code long after you forgot her name.
With Kira, it was all of the above.
We first start talking about the Baltimore Ravens. She was after all a Baltimore fan. The only reason why she found herself in this God forsaken college town somewhere in the middle of Michigan was their excellent MBA program. Kira wanted to climb up the ranks of corporate America. I wanted to climb up her beautiful female curves.
And so it went until it went too far. Three months later and my life is in complete disarray. The whole matter of why married men cheat is some smarter men to deal with. Simply put, it is a meaningless act. It has to do with the need for variety, the need to feel alive. It has nothing to do with anything that women may consider relevant. We sometimes just feel like having a bacon cheeseburger even if our doctor swore to us that it will lead to complete heart rapture. The worst part of it all is that it is never your heart that gets messed up. That is the worst part of it all. That is the reason why we try to limit our behavior to a complete minimum. But still, a man has to eat regardless of a long term perspective.
Kira’s bedroom reflected her ridiculous attempt to be something much more becoming than she actually was. At the foot of her bed she had an imitation Victorian stand decorated in purple suede with ribbons to match. What was more disturbing was the matching purple cuddle couch that she bought for her short her cat that she named after her hero Donald Trump.
I was never a big fan of Mr. Trump. Every time I would go down on Kira he would come up behind me and start licking the bottom of my feet. I could only imagine what Kira would do with Mr. Trump when I was away. That cat seemed to always lick one thing if not the other. Knowing Kira and the way she was in bed, anything would not be beyond the realm of suggestion. Kira has a fat ass but her performance in bed made up for her physical shortcomings. Kira was the type of a screamer who made a man feel as if he was Genghis Khan himself. She treated your dick as if he was the ruler of the world’s largest empire.
After a month or two, Kira decided that she was in love with me. The 180 turnaround in her intentions was not completely unexpected. She was after all a woman despite the fact that she never missed a Ravens football game and could drink more Miller Light than any guy who sat beside her on the couch.
In this age of extended life spans and prenuptial agreements, monogamy is more complicated than it ever was in the days of our fathers and their fathers before them.
I turned towards my wife and kissed her softly on beautiful gentle forehead. Our regular television show was over and it was time to go to sleep. She kissed me with her lip absent of tongue and reminded me that tomorrow was Wednesday and that the garbage trucks will arrive early.
I promised her to take out the trash on time and turn around.
www.hardboiledmen.com
1 comments:
Good one. And this is a discussion that never seems to happen before one side feels uncomfortable. I'll talk honest here - I understand that men need variety and that husbands tend to see affairs as part of their nature. They compartmentalize this as normal if not honest. But would they see it as normal if their wife likewise acted on a need for novelty?
The real kicker is that often men justify their secret behaviors by telling themselves they'll be wounding their wives by being truthful. I call bullshit.
I'm all for being open and accepting of each others needs. But how selfish for the husband to keep his extra-marital actions secret in hopes the wife will remain ignorant and faithful. Which is what the lies are all about.
Set rant off.
Post a Comment