Standing with Cara Brown

Cara Brown woke up early in the morning. She pressed the green button on her Mr. Coffee and brushed her teeth thoroughly while thinking about what cloths to wear. There was not much time left. She had to catch the early train. Almost thirty-five years of age and still single despite her best thought out plans. She took a quick shower and quickly shaved her armpits.

Dennis never liked shaving. Despite his best efforts, he always ended up with a scrap of leftover hairs at the bottom left side of his neck or the right corner of his face right under his ear. His mother once bought him one of those fogless shower mirrors to help remedy his grooming shortcomings. He was disappointed to find out that things never really worked as advertised on television. Yet, he thanked his mother for her wonderful gift.

Dennis had to hurry up if he was going to make it to class. Almost twenty years of age and brand new to the city. One of the first lessons he learned was that the train schedule could at times be most unpredictable. He did not want to take his chances with Professor Evans who was known for his strict attendance policies and famous intolerance for tardiness. He threw on the same pair of jeans that he wore for four consecutive days and headed out the door.

Cara just stood there frozen in silence. She could not make a decision. Would the green rain boots go with her red winter dress? She did not want to look like a walking Christmas ornament. The guys at work always gave her a hard time over the smallest little things. The girls in the office were more than happy to join in and never spared judgment. Several minutes went by and she finally decided to play it safe with the traditional black. She quickly applied her makeup and ran down towards the 14th street station.

Dennis swiped his card in a hurry. The doors of the train were just about to close. He leg was soon jammed into the turnstile. His card showed insufficient funds. He swiped it a few more times just to make sure that it was not a mistake and gave up just as soon as he noticed the inpatient people who stood behind him. The card machine only took credit cards or ATM. He could not remember what he new zip code was. Was it 10001 or 10003? After a few attempts he got it right. Six minutes later, he was on the uptown train.

Cara hated to put on her makeup on the subway. The train was always crowded with perverted old men and smelly homeless people who incoherently begged for money. She always felt unsafe when those people came around. They were abrasively precarious
and often walked up a bit too close towards where she was sitting. Where the hell was the New York City police? What drove Cara completely out of her mind where the bleeding heart liberal types who pulled out dollar bills at the first sight of any homeless person with a sob tale. Did they not realize that they only encouraged those scary people to come back the next day? Why would anyone reward such bad behavior?

More than five years have passed since she moved to Manhattan. She did not have much to show for it. Maybe her mother was right after all. Maybe she should have stayed back in Oklahoma. Maybe she should have married Gerald the son of the owner of Anderson Hardware down on Jennings Boulevard. Cara always hoped for a bigger life than the one led by the majority of her high school girlfriends. By this stage, they were all married or divorced. Most of them were stay at home mothers who spent their days driving between day care and Mommy and Me. Cara was an assistant manager at a major New York City bank and yet she was considered a failure by the majority of folks back home.

Dennis loved to ride the subway no matter what hour of the day. He thought it was all really that exciting. He always saw people ride the subway on television. He took it all in with a smile. As far as he was concerned, the suited businessmen, the uptight Upper East siders, the homeless types and the people who came down from the Bronx were all members of the same New York City cast. They all served as extras in an episode of a police crime drama or one of those late night episodes of late night cable shows. He was in the center of it all.

Cara and a hundred others spilled out of the subway car and towards the Columbus Circle stairs that led to the exit. The sun was gone despite the early hour. Winter revealed its definite intentions. It was a cold early December but you would never be able to tell if you looked at the high school students who were scarcely dressed in fashionable attire. Their youthful lack of clarity preferred low temperature pain to social rebuke.

Dennis walked into the coffee shop and ordered the kind of a coffee that he imagined most New Yorkers would. The woman in the red dress stood behind him impatiently. He thought that he recognized her from the train. She seemed so sad and so beautiful. He did not imagine that she would ever be interested in a guy like him. He was much younger and likely was not sophisticated enough to pass for a New Yorker.

Carla Brown ordered her coffee in the same consistent manner that she always did, skinny with an extra shot of espresso. It was snowing outside and once again she would be alone during the Christmas holiday.